grieving for Paul ~ posted by Melissa

warning: sad post ahead that has nothing to do with yarn...it's okay if you choose not to read it

 

 (picture courtesy of Spencer Wallace Photo ~ thank you so much Spencer for allowing me to use it)

It's been a little over a week now since lives in our neighborhood changed forever.  Nine days of sadness and remembering what happened that night.  You can read about it ~ here ~.  My heart and mind like so many who were there that night are still completely fractured.  So many strangers' paths crossed in that instance and we are now bonded by tragedy. 

I find myself grieving still.  Grieving...

For Paul ~

a young man I never knew

 

For the parents ~

who have lost a precious son

 

For the brothers ~

who were three and now are two

 

For a girlfriend ~

whose anguished screams pierced and still echo in my heart as she watched her boyfriend leave this earth

 

For the brave bystanders ~

for they will always recall their valiant, courageous efforts to save a stranger's life (I am still awed by the immediacy that you began CPR and how long and hard you tried to keep Paul here)

 

For neighbors ~

like myself, whose lives are forever altered by the things we saw and heard that night (much of which is so gut wrenching that I cannot and won't share it ~ be thankful for what you don't know about what happens inside the yellow tape...)

 

For the friends ~

and friends, and more friends ~ some close and some not so close like Spencer Wallace ~ who have been stopping at the memorial...day after day, hour after hour...to come together and try to understand and deal with the loss of one so young and in their circle

 

For the responders ~

the police and firefighters and paramedics and investigators and tow truck drivers ~ who deal with these tragedies today and tomorrow and tomorrow and yet have the strength to bury the raw emotion that comes with their jobs and get up and do it all over again the next day ~ how do you do it?

 

For the 911 operators ~

who take frantic phone calls from people like me and whose job it is to listen to the frightened panicked cries of help from a caller who is watching someone die before their eyes

 

For the boy who ran ~

I do feel grief even for him...you ran past me in the street that night...why did you run?...only you know and I'm sure you have to think about that fact every minute of every day...my heart breaks for you as well

 

 

So many people, so many lives were touched by you on March 13, 2014, Paul.  So many people tried so hard to keep you here and I know I will always remember you even though you are gone.  We have all been bonded together eternally.

 

Rest in Peace, Paul Linari.  You will be missed.

~Paul's obituary and memorial service information can be found here~