19 July 2013

soul healing summer ~ posted by Melissa


This seems to be a season of change.  Good change.  Big change.  Loved ones making some really hard, life altering decisions and I am so full of hope for them.  It's hard to see people you care deeply about, people that are good right down to their bones, struggle so much.  My wish for them is to come to a place where they are happy with who they are, inside and out.  That's all that matters.  To make that their goal and not worry about the rest.  I very much believe that if you are content with you and trust who you are as a person, you can affect changes in the people around you, so don't worry what the rest of us think or say or do.  Be happy and healthy and the rest will take care of itself.
 
 
Personally I've been making some changes, although they're all trivial in comparison.  But I'll share anyway ~ I've developed some weird body image issues that I'm trying to overcome before they get any worse.  I know they're stupid, but they're mine and they're real.  I haven't worn a pair of shorts in public for the last few years, so today I made myself wear a pair on my walk.  I felt horribly self-conscious showing everyone my stumpy, bowlegged, chubby, pale legs but they're MY legs and they're the only ones I've got.  They're not going to get any longer, less chubby, or unbowleggedy ~ although wearing shorts occasionally might take care of the translucent skin :).
 
 
I'll spare you by not blowing this one up any larger ~ ha!
 
I'm also going to try and get off the beaten path just a little.  This is a tough one for me since there have been some pretty scary moments in the past that have instilled a deep fear of being in secluded places alone, but I miss so much by being fearful that I've decided to try and get past it as much as possible.  So today I took these bowleggedy legs on a different walk that took me places I've not been by myself.  It was frightening ~ I won't lie ~ but I'm so proud that I did.  Here are some things I saw:
 



 
I know ~ .25 miles is not very long to be in the woods alone, but baby steps my friends.  I was ready to karate chop every little bird and critter I heard off the pathway if they decided to attack me but guess what, nothing happened and I lived to tell about it.  And that is a big deal.  Hooray for me!!
 
I'm making time for things that I thoroughly enjoy but for some reason have stopped making time for.  I've been reading like a fiend, working the NY Times Sunday crossword and I've picked up a long neglected needlepoint sampler and continued stitching...counted cross stitch, my first love and one I've had since I was in elementary school:
 
 
And finally, I've joined Andi at My Sister's Knitter in a finishing it up knitalong ~ and she also started a group on ravelry (there are prizes involved!!) ~ the link is here.  My wip's have gotten out of control and it's not like me to have so many things started and languishing ~ drives me absolutely nuts!  So, I'm putting an end to it ~ stay tuned as I work my way through all of this:
 


 
The top photo ~ knitalong projects so I'm not too concerned about quickly finishing these.  I'm mortified that the middle photo contains a poncho, 2 sweaters, a scarf and a baby blanket that just need finish work but I haven't bothered to finish any of it.  The last photo contains lacework (a curtain, a beaded winter table runner, a shawl and a scarf) as well as a baby sweater and a pair of socks.  I was never a monogamous knitter but this is out of control!  I won't be casting on another thing until I make a dent in this mess.  I'm saying it here so you all can hold me accountable!
 
Well, this turned into a pretty long post...sorry!  Mostly working through a bunch of stuff out loud it seems.  I'd love to hear what your goals are for the rest of the summer, and if you'd like to join Andi and I as we try to get the projects under control you're more than welcome!
 
I hope everyone has a happy, happy weekend and does something that makes them laugh out loud at least once or twice!   ~   Melissa


19 comments:

  1. Happy Summer, babes! Thank god I'm not the only one with a huge pile of ufo's. Also, I think you're in good company with "not wearing shorts", and I am quite impressed with you turning your insecurity into empowerment. Tbh, I wish my legs looked like yours, but I'm jumping on the bandwagon, and might just go out tomorrow and buy a pair of shorts ;)

    Big hugs,
    Kelly

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  2. well if sharing gets you into a pair of shorts, I'm glad I did! I need to buy more since the ones I own really don't fit all that well anymore ;)

    (did you know if you hold the camera at a certain angle you can make your legs look longer and leaner than they really are??? :) ~ just sayin)

    and when I get this pile of ufo's managed, you and I have a long awaited project in the wings, sister!
    Melissa

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  3. oh well done sweetie! you did it, and i'm so glad to hear no animals were harmed ;)
    i love your forest trail, so different from the chaparral here on the coast where i live. and yes, the short issue, sigh (you look fantastic btw). keep going!

    sounds like we're having a similar summer, i've been hiking alot, ocean swimming, reading and lots of knitting (very little online time). i didn't know you did cross stitch, i have a sampler too that's been in progress for an embarrassing amount of years! good luck with your finish it up along, great idea by you and andi! that is a LOT!

    i wish your loved ones well, everything will be okay i'm sure!

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    1. if only you could have witnessed the process ~ it took me a good 10 minutes of indecision at the trailhead before I set foot into the woods ~ pace pace pace, pace pace pace...

      I'm sure I looked ridiculous to anyone not knowing what was happening :)

      our trails are abundant with ferns and moss everywhere you look since it's so damp here most of the year

      and thanks for the compliment on my sexy gams, Lori ~ HA! I feel like I'm fishing for compliments (that was NOT my point!) but I guess I could stand a little positive reinforcement so thank you!

      as for the cross stitch ~ I've been enamored since I fished an unfinished project from my grandmothers's sewing basket as a child and was told I could take it home with me to work on (I remember it had blue flowers on it ~ I did finish it but don't know what became of it after all these years)

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  4. i love this post! it's so motivating to read what you're doing - making changes and pushing your boundaries. it has me thinking about ways i can do that too. thank you!

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    1. yeah :) ~ glad to help, Jody!

      I saw you joined the kal with Andi & I ~ I think you may have more unfinished projects than I do, but maybe not Andi :)

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  5. I think you have pretty legs. Tan them up a bit and you will be thrilled.

    Wonderful that you've chosen to clean up those WIP's. You will feel liberated. I am not one to relax if I have too many things nagging at me.

    Live, Melissa. Keeping trying and seeing new things and you will be more for it. I'm so pleased you have gotten brave and Jason must be proud of you.

    Keep us posted.

    Hugs... Pen (knitwitless)

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    1. you are so lucky to have Carolyn for a hiking buddy, Penny ~ it's hard getting out there by yourself

      working on a healthier me ~ & Jas is always proud of me, he tells me all the time

      I'm a lucky girl :)

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    2. Wish we could edit typo's in posts. Duh.

      I am lucky to have Carolyn for a hiking buddy. We've yet to get out this year, but I think it will tomorrow. Fingers crossed.

      You and Jason are both lucky. What a wonderfully tolerant couple -- supporting one another in your passions. Appreciating your talents and abilities. Many go their entire life and only long to do what they love. You guys DO it and share so much.

      Thank you for sharing, as I've been a recipient more than once.

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    3. I hope you & Carolyn do get out and enjoy the great weather while it's here!

      I think Jas & I are a good match ~ glad we took the plunge 19 years ago ~ our anniversay is Tuesday :)

      say hi to your BFF and have a great hike!
      Mel

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    4. Poo... we did not go hiking (rained), and tomorrow C is going to Boise to visit Carly for a week. Maybe when she returns?

      Happy Anniversary you guys. Nineteen years is pure commitment.

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  6. Well done you on taking risks today and taking us along on your beautiful walk.

    Look at all those beautiful projects that will be finished in just a couple of months.;)

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    1. thanks for the extra incentive just when I had decided enough was enough, andi!

      now I've got some fun friends to finish up projects with ~ hooray!

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  7. I think that what you did is great.! am not sure I am as courageous as you of taking pictures of the body parts I have body issues...:)


    I am doing baby steps.. I posted a picture of my embarrassingly large stash ion Ravelry.

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    1. I saw your photos ~ they didn't look so bad to me :)

      your dog is adorable!
      Mel

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  8. Bravo for you. Baby steps are better than no steps. I am joining Andi not because I have so many WIPS, but because I want to be like her and have lots of things on my needles. I want to be able to pick up a project based on my mood. I just love that about her. You have a wonderful pile there and I can't wait to see them finished up. I hate shorts. But I love skirts. We went to Great Adventure this week and I broke down and bought a pair. Shorts were a terrible invention.

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    1. you're one a few that joined the kal because they aspire to become unmonogamous knitters ~ that cracks me up

      gotta agree with the terrible invention comment ~ there is not a style that flatters my body ~ the thought of shopping for more is daunting ;P

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  9. I love this post for so many reasons, but because it's you :) I think every person (especially women) are so hard on themselves. As a group we need to keep taking those baby steps...especially for the next generation (it should always be better for them!)...so lead on! (And I agree with Penny...tan legs help..might be the vitamin D?? ;)

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    1. thank you, amy ~ I had no idea all the nice comments I'd get by putting myself out there a little ~ I'm digging all the positive reinforcement :)

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